Happy Mother's Day

Moms raising kids on the spectrum want nothing more than every other mom on the planet: for our kids to be happy, healthy, to be accepted for their authentic selves, to be confident and kind. The list is endless, but it is the same.

To all of you out there doing the "mom job" - no matter how you got it - your strength, patience, love, guidance, and your tears are appreciated. Our kids will remember when we advocated for them, when we explained social situations, when we reassured their value after meltdowns, when we woke up in the middle of the night to comfort and calm. They know we love them.

Last year, my then 8-year old asked me about how I view the world, since, as he said, he knows he "views it differently." This led to how we view others, and he told me "you are a nice woman who helps me get through things." I have to admit - in my mind I wanted to hear what a great mom I am. That I am cool, and funny and smart. When I lamented a little, my own mother, along with some trusted friends, reminded me that I needed to hear with my heart.

What I wanted to hear were things that would make me feel good, but what he told me is what about me makes him feel good - safe and loved. I wanted to hear something that, while not quite superficial, was something more on the surface. What he gave me was the gift of knowing that he respects me, trusts me, and yes, loves me.

That's the nature of the spectrum. People on the spectrum don't always communicate their feelings the way we want to hear them based on our own expectations and experiences. But if we remind ourselves to listen with our hearts (and not our minds), we will hear their hearts in full.

Celebrate each other on Mother's Day, and every day, and don't forget to listen with your heart.